I know that I am obsessed with my phone. I’m addicted to it. Over the years I have been obsessive compulsive with checking it. Now that I am sans iPhone, I cannot focus on anything. I mostly can’t stop thinking about how someone just took my wallet/phone. The last place my wallet was seen was in the taxi. And since Find My Phone is telling me my phone is offline, the only conclusion I can draw is that the cab driver took it. I’ve ruled out that my phone died. I had sufficient battery to last the whole night. Now I’m super paranoid that someone is trying to contact me and cannot reach me. I’m frustrated that I cannot read my text messages or be available to contact. I have work to do but I can’t think of anything else right now. I’m really disappointed about the situation because I like to think that all people are inherently good.
You know as much as you’re ever going to know about her and your relationship. You can’t wait for something really good or really bad to make that decision for you.
—The Puffy Chair, on getting married
I watched a random episode of Portlandia a while back. It didn’t think it was funny, in part because I didn’t understand the humor. Lately I’ve been watching anything I can get my hands on through Netflix. Out of curiosity, I started from episode 1 and, lo and behold, discovered the show’s genius. It’s like the Colbert Report, but instead of current events and politics, the show focuses on hipster subculture and brainwashed America. Pay attention to the details! There’s a lot of entertaining subtleties. I recommend.